Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Easter dinner!

All praise to the Christgod! And welcome to the one and only Christian Cooking Blogue! We're going to start things out with a bang: Easter Dinner! (He is risen!)

Easter is the celebration of Christ's rise from the dead. But it is also a time of reflection, a time to think about everything He sacrificed so He could save us. Christ suffered on the cross for three long hours. The Romans put a crown of thorns on His head to mock him, and a centurion stabbed Him with a spear as His apostles and followers looked on, weeping and wailing.

I figured, since Christ is often described as the lamb of God, I'd cook up some lamb for Easter dinner! Specifically:

Cruci-fried lamb with bloodsauce on a bed of Golgatha mashed potatoes with roasted root vegetable apostles, centurions, and weeping women







This dish may seem elaborate, but it's actually relatively easy to make. Just don't overcook the lamb!

Ingredients
For the lamb and bloodsauce:
• 1 rack of lamb
• olive oil
• salt and pepper
• 2 shallots, minced
• 1 teaspoon minced rosemary leaves
• 1 cup red wine
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 whole cloves
• 1 sprig of rosemary


For the mashed potatoes:
• 2 lbs yukon gold potatoes (or russet, whatever), plus one spare potato (reserve for assembly)
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
• 1/2 to 1 cup half-and-half, heated in microwave
• 1 teaspoon salt
• pepper, to taste


For the roasted root vegetable people:
• carrots
• rutabaga
• parsnips
• orange beets
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• lots of salt and pepper


Directions
For the roasted root vegetables onlookers:
1. Preheat oven to 425 degres. Peel vegetables and carve them into human shapes, including Roman centurions, apostles, Mary Mother of Christ, etc. It's easy to do two-dimensional figures, but you can do 3-d ones if you're ambitious. For the centurions, remember the Roman helmets were crested.







2. Lay carved vegetable people onto a foil-lined baking sheet. Toss with oil, salt and pepper (carefully), and roast for about an hour, turning vegetables occasionally, until well-carmelized and delicious.

For the Golgatha mashed potatoes:
1. Peel potatoes and cut them into two or three pieces each, so they're evenly sized. Put potatoes in a large pot and cover with cold water. Bring water and potatoes to boil, then lower heat and simmer, 15-30 minutes, until a paring knife can easily be slipped in and out of the spuds.

2. Drain potatoes, return to pot, add salt, and mash them with a potato masher or ricer or what have you. Then add the melted butter and mash them some more. Stir in the warmed half-and-half (use as much as you like, this dictates their texture) and mash some more. Add pepper and more salt to taste, and stir with fork to even out.

For the cruci-fried lamb and bloodsauce:
1. Cut the rack of lamb into individual pieces or "chops" (you should have 8, but you'll actually only need 5 for this recipe). Dry the lamb chops well, and liberally sprinkle them with salt and pepper.

2. Heat the oil in a 12-inch stainless-steel skillet (NOT nonstick) over highest heat. When the oil is super-hot and smoking, add the lamb, arranging the chops in a pinwheel fashion. Fry for about 3 minutes until well-seared. Then flip lamb and sear on other side. Remove lamb and set aside.







3. Drain all but about 1 tablespoon of fat from the skillet. Reduce heat to medium and add shallot. Saute until softened, about 1 minute. Add wine and rosemary, increase heat to medium-high, and scrape the browned bits from the bottom of the skillet. Reduce wine for about 7 minutes until thick and syrupy. Add chicken broth and boil, reducing for about 5 minutes, until there's only about 1/3 cup of liquid in the pan.

4. Off heat, and whisk in 2 tablespoons cold butter until well-combined.

Arranging the Christlamb
1. Spread mashed potatoes over a large platter in a hill-shape. Cut the reserved potato in half and place at bottom of the "hill."

2. Cut the bone from one of the lambchops so it's a round circle. Poke the two cloves into the lamb-circle (these will be Christ's "eyes"). Twist the spare rosemary sprig around the lamb-circle, right above the eyes (the crown of thorns).

3. Using wooden skewers, spear the lambchops, with the "head" lambchop on top, to resemble a crucified man. (Model it after the picture above). You may have to use several vertical skewers.







4. Mount the vertical skewers in the reserved potato halves, poking them in and placing the cut-side down on the platter. This will provide much-needed support for your crucifix.

5. Arrange your roasted-root-vegetable apostles, weeping women, and centurions below the crucified God on the mashed potatoes.



Note that I had a spare carrot for carving; I attached this to one of the centurion's hands and had him spearing Christ, Longinus-style. A sprig of rosemary would also work.

6. Spoon the bloodsauce over the crucified Lamb, spilling it on the mashed potatoes below. Serve!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This just is not okay. I am a Christian and kind of offended by the lamb remake of Jesus.

Anonymous said...

I'm offended by the choice of $2 buck chuck.

Anonymous said...

You're going to burn for this heresy, son.

Anonymous said...

Hah, that's funny. Well played, sir!